


I wish that I could wake up with Amnesia

by Starsintheireyes



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Amnesia, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-03-04
Packaged: 2018-09-24 15:41:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9768578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starsintheireyes/pseuds/Starsintheireyes
Summary: Kara and Mike (Mon-El) are happy together and have been for 2 years (at least he thinks they are). But after a particularly bad argument and a car accident, Kara doesn't remember a single thing about him. Or in fact, anything about her life for the last 4 years. She does, however, remember a certain Ex-girlfriend. CEO Lena Luthor.(In this fic Kara & Mon-El aren't supers)





	1. Chapter 1

"Kara, don't be like this! We can talk it through!"

"'Not right now. I need some space."

Kara ripped her arm from Mike's grasp, causing an angry expression to break across his face. Kara didn't look back, and carried on out the door. There had been yet another argument between the two, and Kara was tired, exhausted even. Before leaving she had managed to grab the car keys and was now making a quick exit out of the apartment. Living on the first floor had its advantages, it meant Kara didn't have to run down several flights of stairs before exiting the building. She simply ran straight out, jumped into the car, and proceeded to make her get away.  
She need time to think, and that's exactly what she didn't have living with Mike. The two were happy, of course, but Kara felt herself doubting the relationship day after day. Tears blurred her vision as she drove on, and she fiercely wiped them away.   
Suddenly, looking to her left, she saw the blinding white light of another car's headlights. Then, darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex waited restlessly in the hospital, her fingers crushing Maggie's from the tight grasp. But her fiancé didn't say a word, knowing she was holding Alex's hand with equal strength. Her knee bobbed up and down impatiently, causing Maggie to rest a gentle hand on her leg in comfort. Suddenly a doctor appeared with a clipboard, making his way over to the couple.

"Alex Danvers?"

Alex shot straight up along with Maggie, their hands never separating.

"Yeah, that's me." Her voice wavered, but she refused to show any other signs of weakness. 

"Please follow me."

The two women followed behind, making their way through what seemed like a maze of corridors and rooms. Abruptly, they stopped at one in the ICU Unit, causing Alex's heart to sink. 

"Now, Kara has been through a lot. She's already had two surgeries, one for internal bleeding and the other for a collapsed lung. She's a fighter though, got through both fine. She also broke her left leg, fractured her left arm and also broke several ribs."

"But s-she's alive right? She'll be ok?" Maggie spoke up for the two of them, knowing Alex wasn't strong enough right now to voice her questions.

The doctor sighed, clearing hating having to tell these two women about Kara's injuries. He knew it was one of the heartbreaking parts about his job. 

"Yes she is alive, I wouldn't worry about that. What we are concerned about however, is the damage that may have occurred to the brain. We did scan the area, but sometimes you can't see what the after effects may be. She may suffer from memory loss, there may be some impact on her mobility, her speech. We just can't be certain until she wakes up."

Alex finally let the tears fall, and Maggie wrapped her arms around her. 

"Is she? Going to wake up that is?" Maggie's heart sank further every second her question wasn't answered.

"The signs look good along with her vitals, I'd say she's got a good chance within the next week. However, I would prepare yourself for waiting longer. We can never be 100% sure."

Maggie nodded before thanking the doctor as he went on his way, indicating they could go in and see Kara. Alex stood up straight and breathed deeply, preparing herself for the sight of her sister. But as she stepped through the room, nothing could've warned her for what she was about to see. Kara had her eyes shut, several cuts lay scattered around her face. She had a split lip and stitching above her eyebrow. Her left arm and leg were in a cast, bandages had been placed around her waist, and an IV drip was connected to her arm.   
Alex burst into tears, not able to get any further into the room. Maggie took her hand and led her over to the seats. But Alex didn't sit down, instead she grasped Kara's hand hoping Kara would know she was there. 

"D-do you think she can hear us?" Alex's voice was barely above a whisper. 

"Studies have shown that people in a coma respond better when they hear the voices of loved ones, like it's motivating them to wake up."

Maggie's soothing voice calmed her down slightly, and she finally took a seat beside her fiancé. Her hand still wrapped tightly around her sister's.

"Kara, hey. It's us. I-I never thought I'd see you like this. God with all those cuts and bruises and-"

"Why don't we talk about something happier, something that she'd want to hear about."

Alex nodded, thinking for a moment before continuing.

"Oh! We figured out the venue for our wedding, we were going to tell you but then...well this happened. But we decided to go for your favourite, because we really liked it as well."

Maggie nodded, smiling as Alex's expression elevated slightly. Her hand instinctively went to Alex's hair, fiddling with the short wavy locks. The taller woman knew that's what her fiancé did when she was worried, so she took her hand in hers and kissed it gently. 

The two sat there for the rest of the day, uttering nonsense and talking about everything possible that might motivate the girl to wake up. As it neared the end of visiting times, Alex began to lose hope. But Maggie reminded her it had been less than 2 days after the accident, and they had to give Kara time to wake up. 

This structure was repeated for the rest of the week. Alex and Maggie had both been given time off from their work to deal with the aftermath of the accident, spending most of their time at the hospital. After a few days, Kara's cuts and bruises slowly began to disappear, and the stitching turning into scars. Alex's heart sunk after every day that Kara didn't wake up. And as it came to 7 days without any sighs from the blonde, even Maggie began to lose faith in her comforting words. However, the doctor still firmly reminded them this wasn't unusual. 

One day, after almost two weeks of turning up at the hospital to talk to Kara, Alex and Maggie were sat in their usual chairs. Chatting away, to each other mostly. When Kara's hand shifted slightly. The first movement wasn't noticed by the two women, but as it was followed by a low groan, Alex shot out of her chair to Kara's bedside.

"Kara!? Kara are you awake? Can you hear us?" 

Her panicked voice was responded to by another groan, and Kara shifted her head slightly. 

"Maggie! Go get a doctor!"

Maggie nodded, quickly exiting the door in pursue of any medical staff. Alex watched as Kara's eyes began to slowly flutter open, and she tried to hold back the tears knowing it wouldn't be the best thing for Kara to wake up to. 

"Alex?" Kara's voice was scratchy and broken, her eyes scanned around the room in confusion. 

"W-where am I?"

"You don't remember the accident?" Alex asked.

Kara shook her head as her eyes widened. She looked around the room once again, before her eyes began to water with tears.

"Hey, hey it's ok. What's wrong?" Alex took her sister's hand in comfort.

"Where's Lena? Why isn't she here?"

Alex's eyebrows knitted in confusion, but sprang up once she realised what her sister was talking about.

"Lena? But Kara that was...wait. What's the last thing you remember?"

Kara thought deeply, her struggle showing on her face. 

"I-I don't know. I remember going to one of my lectures, and then Lena surprised me with a picnic on the field, and...oh god how much of college have I missed?"

Alex's eyes widened in shock, realising Kara memories had been wiped from the last 4 years. She was about to respond when the door flung open, revealing Mike with Maggie trailing behind him. 

"I found him running circles around the staff in the waiting room. He isn't listed on Kara's emergency contacts, so nobody told him about her. Eventually he called the police to file a missing persons report and they told him she was in hospital."

Maggie caught Alex up on everything they had missed over the last 2 weeks. 

"Oh my god Kara, are you ok? What happened?"

"What do you think?" Alex answered with a sneer, never being particularly fond of the guy. 

Maggie gave her a warning glare, but she didn't drop the hateful expression aimed towards Kara's boyfriend. 

"Alex. W-who is this?" Kara's eyes flickered over to Mike. 

"She doesn't remember the last 4 years." Alex explained briefly to the guy before turning back to Kara "Well sweetie, Mike is...he-"

"I'm your boyfriend." Mike interrupted, taking Kara's hand who quickly snatched it back.

"W-what is he talking about? I don't have a boyfriend, I have Lena. Where's Lena?" Kara's voice began to rise in panic, making Alex's heart beat rapidly. 

"Kara it's all-"

"No! Where's Lena, I need to see her! Why isn't she here!?"

Alex turned to Maggie in despair, wondering what on Earth they were going to do to fix this.


	3. Chapter 3

It took them (Alex and Maggie) a while to calm Kara down, and after a doctor came to see her, she had eventually fallen asleep. Mike had stood in the corner of the room for most of the day, refusing to sit down and practically glaring at Kara. It annoyed Alex so much she ignored the glares from Maggie and spoke up.

"You know giving her death stares won't improve her memory." Alex stated, causing Mike's gaze to shift over. "In fact it will probably want her to forget you even more."

"You watch what you're saying!" He pointed a menacing finger at her. 

"Hey don't talk to her like that, she's Kara's sister." Maggie stood between them before they inevitably began arguing. "And you." She turned back to Alex "Stop antagonising him."

Alex huffed in response and crossed her arms over her chest. 

"What are we going to do Maggie?" Alex's voice was hushed as she stared intently at her sleeping sister. "I mean, she wants Lena. Needs her. I don't think she could cope waking up again without her there. They were so in love in college, like soulmates. And she's going to have to go through all that pain again, I can't stand it." 

Her words began to waver slightly, and Maggie gently wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her fiancé in close. She trailed her fingers up and down Alex's arm soothingly. Leaning Alex's head on her shoulder.

"Hey shhhh, it's going to be ok. We're going to sort it out, together." Maggie kissed the top of Alex's head. 

 

A few hours later Mike decided he wasn't going to stay any longer, and headed home to his and Kara's apartment. Alex sighed with relief once he had left, glad that when Kara woke up again he wouldn't be here to freak her out.   
It was coming to the end of visiting hours, and the two women still hadn't figured out what they were going to do. Alex had been wracking her brain for the last hour, but no ideas had popped up.

"We could just ring her company, explain that we need to talk to her and I'm sure they'd let us arrange a meeting or something?" Maggie suggested. 

"We discussed that earlier. It's a multimillion dollar company, there's no way her assistant would let us speak to them for any more than 5 seconds, let alone arrange a meeting." Alex sighed, pacing the room. 

"Honey, you're going to wear a hole in the floor if you keep walking." 

Alex stopped with her hands on her hips, but still shifted from foot to foot. 

"Ok, it's worth a try. But, how do we even get her number?" She asked. 

"It's on the thousands of business cards in every store, everywhere." Maggie stated, still speaking quietly. 

"Ok, I'll ring in the morning." 

Alex took Maggie's hand in hers, and enveloped her into a hug. Breathing deeply out, relaxing into her fiancé's arms.

"Thank you for being here with me, I honestly couldn't cope without you." Tears blurred her vision and Alex had to blink rapidly to get rid of them. 

Maggie pulled back and cupped Alex's cheeks. 

"I would never let you go through this alone. Besides little danvers is my family too, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now." 

Alex smiled widely, her heart racing at Maggie's words. Nothing could describe the love she had for this woman. 

"Now come on, you need to get a good night's sleep. Kara would hate it if she knew you weren't sleeping because of her." Maggie's tone of voice turned serious.

"I know, come on then. Night Kara, I'll see you in the morning."

Alex leaned down and gave her sister a kiss on her forehead, before turning on her heel and following Maggie out the door. 

\------------------

"Yes look I know I'm not a business owner, but I have to talk to Lena Luthor. You don't understand it's-"

Alex paused whilst the woman on the other line, or should she say devil incarnate, spoke. 

"I get that she's busy, but this is really important. I have to talk to her. No wait, don't hang up don't-"

As the dial tone proceeded on the end of the line, Alex slammed the phone down in anger. 

"Ugh this is hopeless! That bitch of an assistant isn't even letting me talk." Alex began pacing again, her hands failing as she talked. 

"Alex, honey you've got to calm down. Getting riled up isn't going to help this, it isn't going to help Kara." 

At the sound of her sisters name, Alex halted, her eyes wide in panic. 

"Oh my god what if she wakes up again and we're not there. Or Lena's not there, she'll panic."

"The doctor said it's highly unlikely she'll wake up for at least another day. She's been through that whole ordeal, it'll take it's toll on her. She has to rest up. In the mean time, we are going to that company and we are seeing Lena Luthor no matter what it takes."

The stern look on Maggie's face set Alex into action, she grabbed her keys to her bike and her and Maggie set off in pursuit of the CEO.   
The two arrived mere minutes later at the skyscraper, looking up at awe at the number of floors. Alex visibly gulped before walking through the entrance to the reception. A snobby looking woman sat behind the desk and Alex wondered whether it was the same one she had talked to. 

"Umm Hi, I'm Alex-"

"Maggie Sawyer, here on official police business. I need to talk with CEO Lena Luthor. It's a critical issue." 

Alex's mouth dropped wide open as she saw Maggie bring out her police badge, but quickly regained her composure and went along with her fiancé's antics. 

"I'm afraid you can't see her right now, she's scheduled for meetings for the rest of the day."

Maggie shook her head at the woman's smirk, hating her whiny high pitched voice.

"Now listen here, it is vital I see Ms. Luthor today. And considering it's an issue of law, I'm certain you wouldn't want to go against that." 

Maggie leant closer, towering over the woman, causing her to cower. Alex watched on with a smirk when the woman gulped. 

"Her office is on the 62nd floor, I'll give her assistant a call letting her know it's very important you see her right away." 

Maggie nodded a short thanks, before taking Alex hand and pulling her along behind her.   
Walking into the elevator, Maggie pressed the button for Lena's floor, and her and Alex waited the painful minutes long journey up to the CEO's office. They practically ran through the maze of glass windows and doors, checking each office for signs of Lena. 

"Um excuse me, who are you two?" 

They stopped and turned to a woman sitting bolt upright at her desk, a scowl resting on her face. 

"Maggie Sawyer, I was told to come up here on Police business."

"Ah yes, Kayleigh did call me a few minutes ago. But I'm afraid, I still can't let you see her. She has no time for you at the moment, and without proper identification you are seen as a threat to Ms. Luthor."

"Now listen here you-"

"Alex, wait." Maggie pulled Alex from her angered state and pointed in a certain direction. 

Alex's gaze followed, and as she did she saw the unmistakable sign of Lena Luthor CEO engraved on the door. The assistant did the same, and immediately caught on, but did it too late. Alex and Maggie were already speed walking to the door, opening it with gusto as the assistant trailed after them. 

"You can't just walk in, Ms. Luthor is busy!"

They both ignored her and Alex paced through, immediately greeted with a shocked Lena Luthor and several businessmen. 

\-------------------

Lena had been in meetings all day, and frankly she was exhausted. Usually days went without a hitch, so when the door slammed open half way through one of her tedious meetings, she would never expect Alex Danvers and Maggie Sawyer to come storming into her office. Her assistant Jess hot on her heels. 

"I am so sorry Ms. Luthor. I told them you were in a meeting but-"

"It's okay Jess. Mr Thorpe I will have reschedule at a later date, my assistant will see you out." 

The man nodded, following Jess out of the door. Only when it was sealed did Lena fully take in the scene before her. Alex Danvers (aka her ex's sister) and her girlfriend Maggie Sawyer were currently standing in her office, in her building, after 3 years of never seeing nor hearing from them. 

"Well, I would say this is a lovely surprise, but I assume you two need something other than a friendly catch up." Lena's voice was cold, having years of practise. 

"Yes. We need to talk to you. We've been trying to get hold of you, or arrange a meeting but that woman at reception was being a right...anyway she wouldn't let me even contact you. So me and Maggie had to resort to this." Alex explained briefly, not entirely sure how to breach the topic of Kara. 

"I see. Well then, let's not beat around the bush. Tell me why you're here."

Alex shared a worried glance with Maggie, causing Lena's eyebrows to knit in confusion. 

"It's about Kara."

At the mention of her ex, Lena stiffened briefly before resuming her previous composure. She tried to keep her voice levelled out, but her words managed to come out rushed.

"What about Kara, is she ok?" Lena cursed inwardly at her lack of professionalism.

"That's the thing. She um....she was in a car crash a few weeks ago. And...she...she doesn't remember the last four years or so. Meaning-"

"Meaning what?"

Alex sighed deeply, turning to Maggie for help, who willingly stepped forward. 

"Meaning...she still thinks you're her girlfriend."

Lena's eyes widened with shock, and she froze. Unsure how to respond, luckily Alex speaks up instead. 

"She woke up the other day, asking where you were and why hadn't you come to see her. She was in tears, hysterical almost. It was hard to see. She thinks you forgot about her, she thinks you're still in love." 

The revelation had shocked Lena to her core, and for the first time in what felt like years, her words were stuttered and broken. Rather than their usual collected self. 

"S-she thinks...how...how did this happen?" Her breathing began to increase rapidly in panic. 

"A car ran a red light, hit her. We don't know why she was driving so late, or where she was going. Mike wouldn't tell us-"

"Mike, who's Mike?" 

Alex and Maggie shared another glance, when they both began to stutter in an attempt to explain. Lena, however, pieced things together, her gaze dropping to the floor. 

"Right. So she's with someone. What do you need me for then?" She turned cold once again. 

"Lena please, you know what we need you for. Kara can't get through this without you. I know what happened between you two was painful, especially after-"

"I don't want to discuss it right now." Lena's gaze refused to meet theirs, afraid they would see the tears brimming at the corner of their eyes. 

"Sorry. But Kara needs you. You should've seen her yesterday, it was heartbreaking. I need you to put everything that happened between the two of you, to the back of your mind and just focus on Kara. She needs you Lena. She's at the St.Matthews hospital, please just come see her." Desperation began to creep into Alex's voice, and Maggie grasped her hand gently to steady her.

"Alex, you know I can't. I'm too busy-"

"Don't try and pull that bullshit on me. I know that you would do everything for Kara, I know that you still love her."

Lena's eyes shot up to meet Alex, who was leaning forward against her desk. She knew Alex was right, but she wasn't ready to admit it. She knew seeing Kara would bring back all the feelings and memories she wasn't ready to deal with. But it broke her to know she was lying on that hospital bed. 

"Ok, fine. I'll visit her."

"Now." Maggie spoke up behind her, and Alex nodded along. 

"Jess!" Lena's assistant came running into her office.

"What is it Ms. Luthor? Need me to escort these people out as well?" Jess smiled bitterly. 

"No, clear my schedule for the rest of the day. I have an important issue I need to sort out." 

"But Ms. Luthor-" She cut herself off at the sight of her boss's signature glare. She nodded before walking back out of the office. 

"Right then." She spoke, turning back to Alex and Maggie "Let's go."


	4. Chapter 4

Lena, Maggie and Alex all made their way past the hospital doors and down the winding corridors. Lena was trailing slightly behind, the clicks of her heels echoing off the walls. Her heart pounded faster each second they walked, realising they were getting closer and closer to Kara. She was firstly nervous to see the girl, knowing the last time they did it didn't go so well. And secondly, she was terrified of seeing her injures. Kara hurting was her one weakness (along with Kara's pout and Kara's puppy dog eyes, and Kara's...we're getting off topic here).  
Suddenly, Alex and Maggie stopped, causing Lena to take in a quick sharp breath. 

"Now, just prepare yourself. Ok?" 

Lena nodded in response to Alex, afraid her voice would betray her at that moment in time. She reached for the door handle, pausing slightly before she swung it open. Walking in, a short gasp escaped her mouth at the sight of Kara. Though the cuts had disappeared from her face, she was still bandaged up with scars littered around her body. Tears appeared at the corners of her eyes, and she had to place a hand over her mouth to cover a sob.   
Maggie slowly placed a hand on her back and led her forward so they could close the door. 

"We'll give you two some privacy." Maggie said, shutting the door behind her and Alex. 

Lena watched them leave, her gaze instantly reattaching itself to Kara. Her body took over as she walked to Kara's side. She reached her hand up to put a strand of hair back in place, but she left it hovering in the air; unable to complete the action. She sat down, and as she did, Kara began to stir ever so slightly. Lena froze, not ready to see those striking blue eyes that always managed to pierce through her heart.   
But as they fluttered open, Lena felt herself entranced once again. A wide grin graced Kara's face, and she sighed in a dreary state, still groggy from sleep.

"Lena." Her voice was slightly above a whisper, and she reached a hand out to touch her face. 

Lena felt herself unwilling press into the hand cupping her cheek, bringing up her own hand to lace their fingers together. A small voice in the back of her head warned her she shouldn't be doing this, but she didn't listen. 

"Kara." The name felt foreign on her tongue, as if she hadn't let it slip past her lips for years. "You look, awful."

"Gee thanks." She chucked, but the painful movement from her ribs caused a grimace to take over from her smile. "I missed you. Why weren't you here when I woke up?"

Lena hesitated, but remembered what Alex had told her on the way in. She thought they were still in college, still in love. And the CEO didn't have the heart to break Kara's again.

"Kara. Do you know what happened between us, do you remember at all?"

Kara looked away in confusing, thinking for a few seconds before her gaze turned back to Lena. 

"I remember our anniversary, we've been together for 2 years, you prepared a surprise picnic on the field. And I-I gave you an infinity necklace, but I have the other half, see." 

Kara reached around her neck to grasp the item, only to find it wasn't there. 

"Oh, they must've taken it off for the surgery. But you still have yours on, right?"

Lena gulped as Kara's hand trailed to her neck. The brief contact caused sparks to erupt from her skin. Kara eventually found what she was looking for, a small half infinity necklace that rested around Lena's neck, hidden underneath her collar. 

"Is that what you mean by do I remember what happened between us?"

Lena smiled at Kara's gentle voice, the sound almost making her cry again. Instead of responding, she simply nodded her head, building up enough courage to place the askew strand of hair back behind her ear. Kara closed her eyes and sighed in content, loving the contact. 

"I love you Lena." 

Luckily, as her eyes were closed, Kara didn't see the one tear that escaped out of Lena's eyes. She desperately wanted to say it back, but knew it would make the situation a whole lot more complicated. Instead, she settled on a kiss to the forehead, before making her way out the room to let Kara sleep.   
She closed the door behind her and spun to meet Alex and Maggie's questioning glances.

"Well? How did it go?" Alex's eyes held sympathy, something Lena wasn't used to. 

"I-I can't do this. I can't go in there again and lie to her. She thinks we just had our 2 year anniversary, and I haven't seen Kara in over 3 years. You have to tell her the truth." Lena finally allowed herself to cry, her voice breaking. 

Lena went to walk away, but Maggie grasped her wrist, effectively stopping her. 

"Lena you have to understand, we can't tell her the truth. It will break her, and she'll have to go through the same pain she went through all those years ago. Right now what she needs is you, she'll regain her memories. And when she does she'll understand why we did what we did. But if you leave, she's going to wake up tomorrow wondering where you are, wondering why you left her again. And I know you don't want to see her go through that pain."

Lena hesitated for a few second to take in Maggie's speech, understanding her words. 

"What about her boyfriend?"

At the mention of Mike, Alex's expression turned sour. 

"As far as Kara is concerned, he doesn't exist, never did. Which is a good thing, I never liked the guy anyway."

"Alex." Maggie's tone changed to a warning for her fiancé. 

"What? He was just supposed to be a rebound, but he dug his claws in and wore her down until she had no choice. She isn't meant to be with Mike. She's meant to be with Lena." Alex turned to the CEO "Sure we had our disagreements, but I've never seen Kara happier than when she was with you. You made her whole, and you will again."

Lena shook her head "I don't know if I can do that, I'm not the same to her anymore."

"At the moment you are. Like you said, she thinks you've just had her anniversary. And-"

"Hey what's that?" Alex cut Maggie off, making her annoyed for a split second before she saw what Alex was pointing at. 

The necklace that had originally been hidden beneath her collar, was now out on display. Lena had forgotten to put it back in place after Kara had caught sight of it. No one knew the story behind that necklace, no one really asked. It was something that her and Kara shared. 

"Oh, it's umm...it's nothing. It's just-"

"Wait. Is that the other half of the infinity necklace. Kara's had that on her dressing table for years, she never puts it on anymore. Now I know why. But why do you?" 

Lena began to stutter again, making Maggie come to her rescue. 

"Alex leave the poor girl alone, she's been through enough today without an interrogation from you."

"It's alright Maggie." Lena commented, turning back to Alex "I couldn't take it off. After what happened between me and her, it was the only thing I had left of Kara. I didn't have the heart to get rid of it."

Alex smiled after Lena's anecdote. 

"I'll never understand why things didn't work out between you two."

Lena's lips turned up for a split second, but quickly turned into a frown as the events of her and Kara's breakup played like a movie in her mind. One that she had watched too many times. One that broke her heart the same way each time she did.


	5. Chapter 5

Lena's hospital visits had become more regular, much to the annoyance of her assistant. Who had to deal with cancellations and numerous rearrangements of meetings. Although, Lena was quite enjoying her quiet schedule.  
She was making her way to Kara's hospital room, desperate to see the blonde again. Over the past few weeks, Kara had improved massively. Although most of her memories hadn't resurfaced, her injures were healing and she no longer had to wear a cast on her arm. The bandages on her ribs had been removed, and only a few scars were left. Stepping through the doorway, Kara immediately squealed at the sight of her, holding her arms out to Lena. 

"Lena! You're here!" Kara grinned so much Lena thought her lips would split. 

"That I am, I couldn't go too long without seeing you." She gave Kara a quick kiss on the forehead, knowing it would disappoint the girl if she didn't.

"You're soooooooo beautiful." She giggled.

"And you're soooooo hopped up on pain meds." Lena chucked in response, loving when Kara appeared carefree. 

"Pffttt I'm not.....ok maybe just a little tiny bit." She held her forefinger and thumb very close together, giggling as she did. 

Lena took Kara's hovering hand and brought it to her lips, grazing them over Kara's knuckles, the girl in question let out a contented sigh. They stayed like that for a while, just gazing into each other's eyes. Nothing really needed to be said, and Lena felt her eyes begin to water again as her mind wandered. She'd never felt anything like the way she did when she was with Kara, as if the whole world could burn. But it wouldn't matter as long as they were together. 

"Hey, what's wrong? You're crying?" Kara began to sober up.

"It's just, seeing you again. And like this..."

"What do you mean? You see me all the time?" Kara's grin began to falter slightly, but Lena could tell. 

She retracted her hand from the blonde, pulling away from the warmth she knew so well. Kara appeared confused, but didn't question Lena.   
It brought Lena back to reality, Kara didn't remember how they broke up. She didn't remember how much pain they both went through. And Lena for one, was not ready to see the despair is Kara's eyes again.   
They were interrupted by the opening of the door, revealing a doctor and a nurse.

"Is everything ok here?" Lena began to panic slightly, worried something was wrong with Kara. 

"Oh everything's fine. We just need to go through some tests, and a check up. You can stay if you'd like-"

"No that's ok, I'll give you some privacy." Lena gave Kara a small wave before exiting out the room. 

She was out there for a few minutes, paces outside the door not really knowing what to do, when someone else joined her. Appearing at Kara's door, she informed them they couldn't go in at that moment in time.

"Sorry, what was your name again?" Lena asked politely, curious about this random person. 

"Mike Matthews, I'm Kara's boyfriend." 

Lena froze. This was the guy Alex and Maggie had been talking about. They didn't seem to be that fond of him, not specifying why exactly. But Lena was sure she'd find out later.

"And you?" Mike promoted for Lena's name, who suddenly didn't want to hand over that information.!

"Lena Luthor." 

His eyes widened in shock at the name, and Lena instantly guessed it could be one of three things.   
1\. The name Luthor (which had delinquent connotations)  
2\. She was the CEO of a multimillion dollar company  
3\. Kara had mentioned her during their time together.

"Woah! CEO of L-Corp. What are you doing here outside of Kara's hospital room then?" Mike wondered.

Lena immediately disliked the man, something about him just seemed off. Not to mention he was appearing rather nosy. 

"We have some history." She wasn't going to delve deeper into her and Kara's past. 

He just nodded at that response, and Lena thanked god he didn't pursue any more questions.   
They stood awkwardly for a few more minutes, neither really knowing what to say. Thankfully, not soon after the doctor and nurse reappeared informing them they could go in and see her. Mike stormed ahead, not giving Lena a chance to get in front of him. She knew Kara didn't remember him, and the petrified look on her face that arose when he walked over and kissed her, fuelled anger in Lena.

"Baby I've missed you, how are you doing are you ok? I'm sorry I haven't come to visit in a while, I've been busy with work at the bar."

Lena scoffed under her breath. He was a bartender and couldn't take time off? She was a business owner but still scheduled to see Kara at least twice a week. The fear in Kara's eyes just made Lena want to throw that douche out of the room and wrap the blonde in her arms, but she knew it wasn't her place. 

"I-I..." Kara stuttered, not sure how to respond, her eyes began to flicker over to Lena for help. 

"Do you want me to give you some privacy?" She offered.

"No! I mean, no that's ok. I want you to stay." 

Kara spoke out before Mike could, reaching subtly for Lena who walked to her bedside and intertwined their fingers together. Kara sighed in relief, trying to shift closer to Lena. 

"Who are you again?" Mike asked, his light fluffy tone of voice from 5 seconds ago had quickly evaporated at the sight of the two girls. 

"I'm Lena Lu-"

"I know who you are. Who are you to Kara?" His eyes narrowed into a glare, making Lena scoff. 

"She's my girlfriend." Kara spoke sternly, returning Mike's glare, putting him off. 

"Kara baby, no she's not. I'm the one you're with now. You and Lena happened years-"

"Don't patronise her." Lena stood up to meet Mike's 'intimidating' stance. 

"Guys please stop. M-Mike." She tested the name on her tongue and scowled at the bitter taste it left "I think you should go." 

Lena looked on triumphantly as he gave in and huffed out of the door, but her smile immediately fell once she saw Kara's face.

"Darling, are you ok?" Lena began to brush the hair away from Kara's forehead, but decided to leave her hand there, her thumb gently stroking the soft skin.

"I miss you calling me that. You haven't called me darling in what feels like years now." Lena looked away, knowing the full truth of that statement "Why won't you kiss me?"

Lena's eyes shot up at the question, panic immediately rising in her chest. 

"You used to kiss me all the time. I miss that. Do you not love me anymore?" Kara's bottom lip turned out into a pout and Lena swore her whole heart melted at the sight.

"Oh Kara." She bit her lip to stop from crying "I can't do this anymore, I have to go. I'm sorry."

And without another word, Lena ignored Kara's persistent cries that broke her heart each time, she walked out of the door. Holding her head high despite feeling like crumbling to the ground. She could still hear Kara's cries echoing in her ears when she got out to the parking lot. 

\------------------

It had been over a week since Lena last saw Kara. And since then she had received quite a few voicemails from the girl, she only assumed Alex and Maggie had given her her number. Lena didn't dare listen to them, for fear of breaking down at the sound of Kara's voice. She'd also received numerous threatening messages from Alex, telling her to "get her ass down to the hospital ASAP or they'll be trouble."  
She still didn't listen. The whole situation was more than she could handle, more than she was used to. Suddenly her phone rang once again, and checking the number she realised it was Alex. She sat there, broken in two, wanting to pick up but so desperate to stay away. Instead, she let it go to voicemail. 

Beep "Hey Lena it's Alex. Just thought I'd let you know Kara is being discharged from hospital today. She really wants to see you, but I understand we put you in a difficult situation and I'm sorry. But right now you need to get to the hospital, she's refusing to come home with me, Mike is out of the question. She only wants you Lena. Please. If you're busy I get it, but if your sat in your office chair listening to this...woman up! Anyway, I hope you'll make the right choice."

The line clicked, indicating Alex had hung up. Lena sat, head in her hands. Sighing loudly. With a groan, she stood up, walked out her office, yelled at Jess to cancel her meetings for the rest of the day, and drove the way to the hospital. 

\---------------------

Kara was practically in hysterics, she wanted Lena here with her. Mike was desperately trying to convince her to come stay back at their place, but Kara didn't know what "their place" was. She had no memory of Mike, or of their live together. She did, however, remember Lena's apartment that they stayed at during the holidays. Something Lena's parents had bought her as a guilt present, and something Lena had never moved out of. Not really seeing the need to go through the hassle of buying another place. 

"Kara listen to me, I've left her a voicemail. There's nothing more I can do, just come home with me and Maggie."

"But that's not home to me." 

Kara's voice was weak and quiet, and Alex sighed at the tone. She knew it was a lost cause. Suddenly Kara turned to the sound of the hospital doors sliding open, her heart sank when she saw it was just a man carrying a bouquet of flowers. 

"Kara, you can't stay here." Maggie tried to reason with her.

"I told you, she can come with me back to our apartment." Mike offered once again.

Kara looked slightly freaked out at the declaration, but luckily Alex came to her rescue. "Aha that is not happening, she doesn't even know who you are." She stood between Kara and Mike, protectively. 

"I'm sorry it took me a while, I got here as soon as I could." 

The sudden voice interrupted the tense atmosphere, and they all turned to see Lena making her way over. 

"Lena!" Kara practically yelled, standing up and throwing her arms around the woman. 

Lena had to basically catch Kara as she stood up, crutches discarded onto the floor. She wrapped her arms around her waist, letting herself get lost in their embrace. She breathed in Kara's scent, noting she smelled like hospital, which made Lena cringe. 

"You came." Kara pulled back, staring deeply into Lena's eyes, her thumb stroking Lena's cheek. 

"I'm sorry I've been ignoring your calls-"

"Hey, it's ok. I understand."

Lena smiled, wrapping her arms back around Kara. Alex and Maggie smiled at the embrace, before eventually telling them they had to separate sometime that day. Mike also prompted them to break it up, making Lena scowl at him.   
After a long discussion, Alex thought it would be best for Kara to go with Lena, despite Mike's protests. Lena agreed, knowing that her company could survive for a few days whilst she got Kara settled in. Mike eventually agreed for Alex and Maggie to pick up Kara's things from her apartment.   
They all went their separate ways, but as Kara realised she had to get into a car, she began to panic. 

"Hey Kara, look at me, it's going to be okay. We don't have to drive. We can get the bus, whatever makes you comfortable." 

Seeing the loving look in Lena's eyes, Kara began to calm down, shaking her head at Lena's offer. 

"No, I'll be ok." She breathed deeply.

"Only if you're sure?" Lena felt guilty, realising she probably should've thought ahead. 

Kara nodded with a smile smile, which Lena mirrored. She took her arm and led Kara over to her car. It was black and very sleek, not that Kara was surprised. 

\------------------

Lena drove rather slowly back to her apartment, which Kara was very thankful for (although many other drivers weren't). The drive was mostly silent, apart from Lena constantly asking Kara if she was ok, which Kara always confirmed she was.   
They made their way up in the elevator, Lena never letting go of Kara the whole way. She could tell Kara was getting tired with her crutches, so eventually her whole body weight was leaning on the brunette. Lena pulled her keys out her bag, struggling slightly to open the door with Kara leant against her. Eventually she managed it, and led Kara inside, shutting the door behind her. 

"Well, welcome back I guess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you guys are probably wondering about Kara and Alex's parents....it will all be revealed in good time ;)


	6. Chapter 6

"I know we're not together anymore."

Lena's head shot up from the declaration, staring intently into Kara's eyes, encouraging her to continue.   
After arriving at Lena's apartment, Kara had quickly settled in, heading over to the sofa and turning on the TV. Lena had ordered them takeaway, considering Kara must've been sick of all the hospital food. They ate on the couches, Kara's injured leg propped up on the coffee table. They fell easily into conversation, Lena filling Kara in on her life, her company, her parents. The blonde broke the silence with her declaration, making Lena freeze in shock. 

"Kara-"

"What? You think I didn't piece it together, especially with Mike. I just don't get it, we are so happy, were so happy. What happened?" Kara threw her arms in the air in exasperation. 

"I don't think this is best topic for us to discuss. Not after everything you've been through." 

Lena didn't want to talk about it, she wanted to stay as far away from that subject as possible, but Kara was unrelenting.

"Lena, I'm not some fragile child that can't handle bad news. I'm going to remember some day anyway, you might as well just tell me." Kara gave Lena her puppy eyes, making Lena groan in frustration.

"You know I can't say no when you do that." More puppy eyes "Fine, fine ok I'll tell you."

*Flashback* 

It was 3 months after Kara and Lena's 2 year anniversary, Kara and Lena were sat in Kara's dorm room.   
Lena was playing with her girlfriend's hair, whilst also peppering kisses on her cheek.

"Lena stop please, I'm trying to concentrate. This paper is in for tomorrow." Kara tried to push Lena away, but did so half-heartedly.

"But this is so boring, there are so many better things we could be doing." Lena's sultry tone make Kara sigh. 

"We can do those things later, right now I need-"

She was interrupted by her phone ringing. Alex's number popped up and she answered immediately. 

"Hey Al, what's up?" 

The smile dropped off her face as Alex began talking. Lena look on, confused as Kara's bottom lip began to quiver. 

"Y-yeah, I-I'll get there as soon as I can." 

She stood up the second the phone cut off and was about to walk away when Lena grasped her wrist. 

"Kara, what's going on." 

Kara opened her mouth to speak, but only a sob came out. She was about to fall to her knees when Lena reached out and caught her, pulling the sobbing girl into her arms. 

"Shhh hey it's okay baby, I've got you. You're okay." Lena whispered in Kara's ear, stroking the girl's back soothingly. 

"I-it's my parents." Kara finally reveals, her voice cracked and wavering "They were in a car accident. Alex is at the hospital now. I-I've got to go. W-will you come with me?"

"Of course." 

Lena acted as Kara's support the whole way there, not knowing what to expect. She didn't let Kara go, keeping their fingers intertwined the whole way.   
As they entered through the hospital doors, Kara immediately saw Alex pacing back and forth and rushed to her sister, pulling Lena along with her.

"Alex...w-what's the news?" 

Alex's cheeks were stained with tears, her eyes puffy and red. She went to speak, but a sob caught her throat. Kara let go of Lena and threw her arms around her sister. 

"Mom she...she died on the operating table. Dad's in surgery now but they don't know if he's going to make it." The sentence came out broken, in pieces like Kara's heart. 

Alex looked over Kara's shoulder to see Lena shifting from foot to foot, and anger boiled up inside of her. 

"You!" She pulled away from Kara and leapt towards Lena, pushing her backwards. 

Lena looked confused at Alex, but didn't push back, knowing the state the girl was in. 

"This is all your fault!" Alex yelled, tears streaming down her cheeks once again. 

"Alex what are you talking about! Leave her alone!" 

Kara grabbed her sisters arm, pulling her away from Lena. Alex quickly spun back around to Kara. 

"Her brother, Kara." She turned to Lena "Your brother, was drink driving. Swerved to miss something that wasn't even there! And hit my parents! They went tumbling off the road...he gave them no chance!" 

Lena's mouth dropped open in shock, along with Kara who released her grasp on Alex's arm. The second she did Alex lunged for Lena again, but Kara wasn't quick enough to stop her. Resulting in Lena losing her balance and landing on the floor.

"Alex stop! You're not helping!" Kara stood in front of Lena, preventing Alex from touching her. 

"Her brother Kara killed our mom! And we're just supposed to act like normal around her!" 

Alex was now gaining the attention of several people nearby, making the situation a whole lot worse. 

"She's not her brother Alex!"

"Alex Danvers?" 

Their conversation stopped abruptly at the voice of a doctor. Alex stepped forward and nodded. 

"I'm so sorry, we did everything we could. But your father passed during the operation. If there's anything you need, we are here...I'll leave you to process this information."

Lena stood up quickly to catch Kara again as her knees collapsed from under her. Alex didn't notice, instead she stood watching the doctor disappear. Frozen. She didn't react, she said nothing, she did nothing. It was as if she was dead to the world.   
Lena cried along with Kara, Eliza and Jeremiah were always so lovely to her. They didn't deserve this.  
Her heart broke when she thought about her brother, Lex Luthor. She knew him drinking was a problem, but she never thought he'd go this far. How could she look Kara in the eye after this, especially since Alex blamed her.   
Lena placed Kara back on steady feet and took a few steps away from her. Kara looked like a lost puppy without Lena, and the brunette almost broke down from that look alone. But she stayed strong, and she spoke with a steady voice. 

"Kara, I should probably give you two some space. After what Lex...I don't think I should be here right now." 

Alex turned around at the sound of Lena's statement, staring intently at the woman. 

"Lena, please..." Kara trailed off, unable to finish her sentence. 

Alex took her sister and wrapped her arms around her, turning her away from Lena. Lena nodded slightly, before making her way out of the hospital. Furiously wiping away tears that wouldn't stop falling. 

*end of flashback*

"And after that, after Lex got sentenced. I was terrified of how you would look at me, like I had been the one who had killed your parents. I knew Alex blamed me, and I could stand that, but I knew you did too and that's what broke me. I felt guilty each second I went without seeing you or calling or texting you. I knew you needed me, but I backed away. I was a coward, I'm so sorry Kara, truly I am." 

"Hey, it's ok." 

Kara wrapped her arms around Lena, letting the girl cry into her shoulder. She had only ever seen Lena cry once before, after she came out to her Mom who refused to believe that was what she was. 

"Can I ask you one more thing, if that's alright?" Kara queried tentatively. 

"Of course, go ahead." Lena beckoned for her to continue. 

"Did we ever see each other again after that?" 

Lena sighed deeply, the memories she had so desperately repressed were coming up to the surface. 

*flashback*

Lena knocked carefully on the door, twiddling her thumbs as she waited. A few seconds later she was greeted by the sight of Kara, rather disheveled with heavy bags under her eyes. 

"Oh Lena, hi. I didn't expect to see you." 

Her gaze was focused at the floor and she appeared uncomfortable. It broke Lena's heart to see Kara act this way around her. 

"I know, I'm sorry I stayed away for a bit I just...I thought you needed time away from me so I gave you some space." 

Kara nodded, unsure how to respond. 

"How are you holding up?" 

The second the words left her lips, Kara's eyes began to water. She bit her lip to try and keep them in but it didn't work. 

"Oh Kara-" 

"Don't, please. I-I can't right now." 

Kara pushed Lena away, ready to close the door when Lena spoke out again. 

"If you need me Kara, I'm here." Lena felt pathetic, knowing there was nothing she could possibly do that would make the girl feel better. 

"Thanks but uh...I think it's best if, like you said, if you stay away for now. I'm sorry Lena, but we're not going to work-to work out." 

Lena nodded, not wanting to fight, not having the strength to get trough an argument with Kara. She could feel her throat begin to close up, and she fought to keep her voice steady.

"T-that's fair enough. I'll see you around. Bye Kara." 

She watched Lena slowly disappear as she closed the door, and the second it was shut Kara leant against it and slid to the floor in a heap of tears. 

*end of flashback*

"Ah right...So we didn't have the best of breakups?" Kara chuckled awkwardly. 

"So you remember about your parents?" Lena was confused, the accident had happened past Kara's latest memory. 

"Kinda, Alex filled me in mostly when I asked about it. I feel like I remember what you told me, or it might just be my mind making it up." Kara sighed heavily "This is so confusing. I feel like I've missed out on a whole part of my life. I mean...what if I don't get my memories back, what then?" 

"You will remember Kara-"

"You don't know that." Kara's voice was quiet and cold, her gaze flickering away from Lena's eyes.

Lena decided it was best to give Kara some space. She kissed her on top of her head, and wished her goodnight. She didn't bother telling Kara about where the spare room was, she knew Kara remembered. And that she was too stubborn to accept help, so Lena left her on the couch. 

\----------------

At around 2 in the morning, Lena startled awake, jumping as she did. She peered over at her alarm clock and made a note of the time. She was wondering what had woken her up when she heard muffled cries coming from the spare bedroom. Kara.   
She leaped out of bed, speed walking her way to the bedroom door. Lena hesitated slightly before opening it. Inside she saw Kara tossing and turning, small whimpers running past her lips. 

"No, no please no." 

"Kara." Lena whispered harshly, hoping it might draw the girl's attention away from her nightmare. 

"No no no."

Tears began to stream down Kara's cheeks, and Lena couldn't stand to see her like that any longer. She walked over by Kara's side and gently shook her awake. The girl's eyes sprung open, and she sat practically bolt upright seconds later. 

"Lena, w-what..."

"It was just a dream Kara, it's ok. You're safe." Lena whispered.

Kara flung her arms around Lena's neck, burrowing her face into her neck. Lena could feel the wet tears on her skin, but didn't mention it, she just let Kara grasp hold of her. 

"Are you ok now?" Lena asked, pulling back and gazing into Kara's glistening blue eyes. 

Kara nodded, but when Lena went to walk out Kara grabbed her wrist, effectively stopping her from going any further. 

"Please c-can you stay here with me. I-I don't want to be alone." Kara sounded vulnerable, and Lena knew she hated to feel that way. 

Lena slowly nodded, climbing into bed next to Kara, making sure she avoided the girl's broken leg. She gave Kara a kiss on the side of her head, before closing her eyes to go to sleep. But before she managed to fall, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist. Lena let herself smile in content, before mirroring Kara's actions. 

The two stayed like that for the rest of the night. And if you went back 4 years to the exact same place at the exact same date, it was as if no time had passed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so that's the end of the 6th chapter. What do you guys want to see more of? Do you think the story is going too slowly? Are there any holes in the plot?  
> Please leave comments below :)


	7. Chapter 7

Lena startled awake yet again to the sound of her phone ringing. She only had a few seconds to realise what position her and Kara had ended up in. Her leg swung over the girl's waist, and Kara had a hand tangled in Lena's hair. She sighed, wishing she didn't have to move, but knowing she had to answer it. She reluctantly disentangled herself from Kara, hopping out the bed and walking to the living room. The phone was still ringing painstakingly loud, and Lena had to clear her throat before she answered. 

"Hello, Lena Luthor speaking?"

 

Kara woke slowly to the sound of Lena's raised voice, grumbling slightly as she did. Her leg ached painfully, and as she slid over onto her side she let out a quiet shriek of pain from her bruised ribs and stitches. Only seconds later she heard Lena running back into the room, placing the call on hold. 

"Oh god Kara are you ok, what happened." She stroked the girl's hair out of her face. 

"I'm fine Lena, I just didn't realise it was hurt so much. I'm ok though." 

Lena looked at her sceptically, before nodding and continuing the call. But this time she didn't leave the room, she sat back on the bed next to Kara, who began to play gently with her hair. 

"Yes I know, but I've been quite busy...I am aware I've missed that meeting but I'm sure with his schedule we could rearrange...Can't the company survive without me for a few more days?...Fine, I'll see you in a couple of hours." Lena hung up, throwing the phone to the other side of the bed in frustration.

She collapsed backwards on the bed, her gaze flickering over to Kara, who appeared even more beautiful in the morning light. 

"I'm so sorry Kara, I have to go into work today. They said I've missed too much at the company. Can't even survive without me for a few more days, ridiculous."

Lena began to mumble, causing Kara to giggle. 

"What are you laughing at?" Lena tilted her head.

Kara just giggled again "You're adorable when you grumble." 

Lena rolled her eyes playfully, gently nudging Kara with her elbow. As the girl giggled again, Lena felt a pang in her heart. She had missed these interactions, more than she'd let herself admit. Kara always brought out a different side to her, a better side, she made her more affectionate more heartfelt without even realising. The two went quiet, and a comfortable silence fell between them. 

"I miss this." Lena whispered, her throats beginning to close up. 

"Lena-"

"I know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. But it's the truth, and I don't think a day goes by where my mind doesn't wander to you. I know it isn't the same for you, because you have Mike, but-"

Lena was cut off by a pair of lips landing on hers, she froze in shock for a moment before her mind kicked in and she pulled back.

"Kara....we can't." She tried to reason, but somehow her voice failed her.

"I know." 

Kara pulled Lena close once again, and this time Lena kissed her back with equal strength, allowing their lips to move in sync.   
Suddenly Lena shot back, distancing herself as far away as she could from Kara. The blonde looked on, confused. Lena felt a tear trail down her cheek and she fiercely wiped it away.

"Lena what's-"

"I can't do this Kara. I can't. After all these years I can't just go back to where we were before. You can't just kiss me and pretend like nothing ever happened. You have a boyfriend you have, a life without me...even though you might not remember it now you will one day and I can't be around when you do. I can't see the hatred in your eyes that I saw after the accident. I can't be the person you want me to be Kara, I'm sorry. I have to go. Alex is coming by later, I think it would be best if you went with her."

"Lena..." Kara's voice trailed off as Lena quickly exited the room. 

She heard a bit of movement from around the apartment, before the unmistakeable sound of the door slamming shut rang out for Kara's ears to pick up. She grabbed the pillow and threw it across the room in frustration, angry for letting herself get carried away. 

\----------------------

A few hours later, after moping in front of the TV, Kara heard a knock at the door. She knew it wouldn't be Lena, so her heard immediately sank. Picking up her crutches, she hobbled over to the door, opening it to reveal Alex and Maggie with a few bags in tow. 

"Hey Kar, Lena told you we were coming today didn't she?" Alex asked, walking past Kara to place the bags down by the door. 

"Yeah...she did." She sighed, making Alex and Maggie look in confusion.

Kara hobbled back over to the sofa, practically throwing down her crutches in exasperation. Maggie and Alex shared a worrying glance, before shutting the door and heading over to Kara. 

"Well it's lovely to see you too." Alex tried to joke, but received a glare instead from Kara.

"Ok, no joking." Alex commented

The atmosphere turned tense, and neither Alex nor Maggie knew what to say. The silence was eventually broken by Kara letting out a frustrated groan. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be snappy. I'm just not in the best of moods." 

Kara felt guilty, she knew was happened obviously wasn't Alex's fault. 

"Did something happen?" Maggie questioned. 

Kara ran a hand through her hair in thought, pondering whether or not to tell them. She began to twiddle her thumbs as she spoke. 

"I...I kissed Lena this morning." Kara looked up to see Alex and Maggie's shocked faces and immediately regretted telling them. 

"You what!?" Exclaimed Alex. 

"I kissed-"

"I know what you did! What... How ...why?" Alex began to stutter, hands failing slightly. 

"Ok let's just stay calm shall we?" Maggie aimed the question at Alex with a raised eyebrow "Kara. What happened?" 

"Well we were just messing around, and then it got quiet and she told me she missed me, that she missed us. I couldn't help it. I know we're not together anymore, but my mind still thinks we are. Ugh I hate this so much! I hate my mind I hate this accident I hate the fact that Lena's hurting! I hate my stupid leg, I just wish this could all go away!"

Kara reached over to grab a pillow and screamed into the material, trying to get all the anger out her body. Alex and Maggie glanced at each other, hating to see the girl in this situation. 

"I hate not remembering anything! What if I never get my memories back!? What if I'm stuck like this forever with a whole chunk of my life missing!?" 

"Kara please just calm-"

"Don't tell me to calm down." Kara glared at Alex, her voice turned quiet but harsh and Alex knew not to say anything. 

"I think we should go." She turned to Maggie, indicating for them to stand up "I'll see you later Kara, your stuff is by the door if you need it." She went to put a hand on her sister's shoulder, but Kara moved out of reach. 

Maggie pulled Alex along behind her, making sure to shut the door before they left. Kara sobbed into the pillow, frustrated at everything around her. She knew she shouldn't have lashed out at Alex and Maggie like that, but she couldn't help it. She was angry about the accident, about her memories, about messing everything up with Lena. Kara wanted to go for a run to clear her head like she used to, but it wasn't an option. 

It was late in the evening when Lena finally came home. Kara had fallen asleep on the couch, tears staining her cheeks. She didn't wake to the sound of the door closing, or the keys being dropped on the coffee table. Nor to the sound of Lena's voice. Lena found Kara fast asleep, and sighed at the sight. She was clutching a pillow desperately to her chest like a comfort blanket, her head resting against the arm of the sofa. Lena placed a hand on her shoulder and gently shook her till her eyes fluttered open. 

"Lena." Kara sighed dreamily, reaching out a hand to stroke Lena's cheek. 

"Kara I didn't mean to walk out on you like that this morning, I'm really sorry. If it's any consolation, my day at work was particularly awful. I swear to god if I have to fake smile for one more businessman I'm going scream." Lena chuckled and Kara smiled in response. 

Kara's hand dropped back into her lap, and Lena knelt down next to the sofa so she was closer to the blonde. 

"Alex called me today. Warned me you might be a bit upset. What happened?" Lena desperately wanted to feel the girl's skin under her fingertips, but didn't want to make the situation uncomfortable. 

"I just got a bit overwhelmed. With the accident, my memories, my injured and...what happened between us earlier. I just wish it could all be easier. I want to remember, desperately." Kara whimpered, her bottom lip sticking out into a pout. 

"I know darling, I know." The pet name slipped out without a second thought, but neither questioned it as Lena continued "I know this situation isn't ideal, but I promise I'm going to help you through this. No matter how long it takes. Ok?" 

"Ok."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think about a time jump for the next chapter? Thanks again for reading :)
> 
> *Also I'm sorry about all the angst


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Time Jump!*

*2 months later*

It had officially been a little over 3 months since the accident, and Kara was beginning to settle into her new life. She had regained a spatter of memories, but their were still big gaps in her knowledge, which frustrated her to no end. But luckily for her, Lena was still there. At times Kara would get scared at the thought of Lena leaving her life, too afraid of the commitment that looking after the blonde brought. But despite being slightly skittish, Lena couldn't just walk out, Kara deserved better than that.   
She had slowly begun to return to work, baffled by how she managed it in the first place. Her demanding boss, Cat Grant, didn't hesitate to point out every mistake she made, whilst also informing her that she was going easy on Kara due to her accident. The people at her work were also very sympathetic, which annoyed Kara but she knew they had her best interests at heart. She got close with a guy named Winn, who informed her they were good friends at work. Kara instantly took a liking to him, despite Mike's jealous attitude.  
Speaking of Mike (because unfortunately he was still around like an annoying fly you just couldn't kill), Kara did remember parts of their life together and saw they were happy. But secretly confided in Lena that it didn't feel the way it was supposed to. She felt no connection with him, even though they had apparently been together for 2 years, and she wondered how she could've put up with him for so long.   
Alex and Maggie still refused to let Kara stay over at her and Mike's apartment, not trusting the guy not to upset Kara or end up saying the wrong thing. And because of this, Kara effectively ended up with Lena. She even had designated drawers now. Lena didn't protest, feeling that they were making up for lost time despite her wishing the situation could've been different. Mike had visited the apartment a few times, much to Lena's annoyance, but Kara had acted civil and kind like she thought she would do with him.   
However, there were times Kara felt like she needed to break up with the guy, to cut all strings lose and get him out of her life forever. During these times Lena reminded her it wouldn't be fair to him, and that she should wait until her memories come back fully before she makes that decision.   
Lena also had to watch Kara remembering her parent's accident, which led to the CEO holding Kara for hours whilst she sobbed into her shoulder. Lena honestly thought Kara would never want to look at her again after remembering that, let alone stay in her apartment. But Kara was forgiving, and more rational than she was back then. Lena also didn't feel the need to distance herself so much, making the communication a lot easier. Kara also managed to ask Lena how her brother was doing, with which she responded she hadn't seen him or made any kind of contact with him since the accident. 

The two women were slowly getting into a routine, Kara would go to work 3 days a week, and after each day Lena would send a car to pick her up (considering Kara was still terrified of driving). At first the girl insisted on taking the bus, but Lena refused. Almost turning it into an argument before Kara finally agreed. Kara had also gotten her cast off and was going to Physical Therapy every Saturday morning, which had significantly improved her mobility. 

After a few months of them living together, Lena began to feel guilty. Guilty because she was taking Kara away from her previous life, her apartment, her boyfriend. Guilty because she didn't know how Kara would react when she remembered everything about Mike, whether she would hate Lena for keeping her away from him. Guilty because Kara remembered the accident, and Lena still felt she was to blame. This guilt led to a couple of small arguments, mostly headed by Lena whilst Kara tried to be the peacemaker. At one point Lena had told Kara she would be better off living with her boyfriend, which caused silence for a few days in the apartment. Before Kara walked up to Lena, confirming she wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here.   
There also hadn't been anymore accidental, heat of the moment kisses. The temptation was there, but both had learned their lesson. It made everything more complicated, and neither were willing to ruin the friendship that had formed between them, no matter how much they wanted it to be more than that. 

One evening, over a bowl of pasta at the kitchen table, Lena decided to speak her mind. 

"Kara." The blonde in question lifted her head "I've been thinking for a while now." 

"Oh that sounds dangerous." Kara winked playfully, her smile disappearing once she noticed Lena's lack of reaction. 

"I love having you here, I really do. After everything that went on, getting you back into my life has been one of the best things that has happened in a long time. Seeing you everyday...it makes me wonder how I went so long without you."

Lena pauses briefly, and whilst she does Kara reaches her hand over to place it on tops of Lena's, encouraging her to continue. 

"But, you had a life before me. You survived without me, and...I think you should go back to that. Go back to Mike. I know he misses you, and this isn't fair on him, no matter how much you want to break up. There was a reason you got together in the first place, and when you remember that you won't want to be staying here anymore-"

"Can't I just stay here until I do? There's no point of me going back to a place I barely remember, with a guy who I don't particularly like." Kara sighed in exasperation, trying her best to get Lena to see her side of the situation.

"Darling-"

"Don't call me that Lena. Tell me why you want me to stay with Mike. Is it because you don't want me here anymore? Hmm? You're fed up of me aren't you? You could've just said something sooner you know."

"Kara." Lena's voice was quiet, and Kara didn't hear it over her rambling. 

"You know you didn't have to have me here, I could've stayed with Alex and Maggie, in fact I think they would've preferred me to be somewhere they could keep an eye on me." 

"Kara..."

"Now I feel bad, I shouldn't have imposed so much on you Lena, I'm so-"

"Kara!" 

This time Kara stopped rambling, finally hearing Lena's voice. She sat back in her chair, and waited for Lena to say her piece. The CEO took a deep breath before she did. 

"Kara it's not that I'm fed up of you. That's not it at all." Her voice was assuring, and Kara nodded. 

"What is it then? Why do you want me to go? And don't say it's because you think that's best for me, I know you're lying when you do." 

Lena took another deep breath, and Kara titled her head in confusion as she did. Lena's nerves were starting to get the best of her, and she almost backed out completely. Contemplating a change in topic numerous times before she spoke. 

"Ok, the truth is I don't want you to leave. I don't want you to go so desperately, that I know it's best if you do. Because I'm not sure how much longer I can cope, seeing you here everyday, every hour. Waking up to your voice, your smile. I'm not sure how much longer I can go without kissing you. I think about it, too often. And that isn't fair on you. So, if you go to Mike's, you can start your life again. And who knows, it might even trigger some memories. You could get your life back Kara, the life you had before this whole thing. That's what you've wanted. Isn't it?" Lena questioned, feeling relieved after getting everything off of her mind. 

Kara bit her lip, avoiding Lena's gaze which instantly made the brunette suspicious. She stood up abruptly, scraping her chair against the floor causing an earsplitting sound against the silence. She opened her mouth to speak but thought better of it, and silently walked out of the room. Lena didn't follow her, she didn't even watch her go. She just let her walk, hearing the resounding slam of the bedroom door as confirmation. Lena sighed deeply, running a hand through her hair. She pondered going after the girl, apologising for what she said. But if she knew Kara well enough, and Lena certainly did, it was best to give the girl time. Time to think.   
A few hours later, Kara still hadn't reappeared from her room. It was late in the evening, and Lena presumed she had gone to sleep. Therefore, the TV had been turned down to one of the lowest volumes, in fear of waking Kara up. She was about to switch it off when she heard a voice behind her that almost made her jump.

"Don't turn it off on my watch. I haven't got to sleep yet...as you can see." Kara chuckled awkwardly. 

Lena looked at her, wondering if she was going to continue as she came to sit beside the brunette. 

"Kara I apologise, I was completely out of-"

"No, you weren't. Actually you were right on the money." She gave a tight lipped smile, her fingers fiddling with a loose strand on her pyjama top. "That is what I wanted, to go back to how things were before. Before this, before the accident...before we broke up." 

Lena furrowed her eyebrows, curious to what Kara was going on about. 

"Ok, I haven't been completely honest about...a few things." Kara took a deep breath in before continuing "number one, I might remember a little more than I'm letting on." 

Lena's expression turned serious, and her voice held no emotion.

"How much more?"

"What, percentage wise or just-"

"How much, Kara!"

Kara avoided eye contact yet again, mumbling something inaudible under her breath, making Lena prompt her for the truth. 

"Ok, all of it." She grimaced and waited for Lena's reaction. 

"All of it!? Kara what the hell have you been playing at! You remember everything and you didn't care to tell me!? To tell Alex or even Maggie!?"

"That takes me onto my second point."

"This is serious Kara! You can't joke about this! Oh my god, do you realise how worried I was about this!? And now I find out you remembered everything all along!" 

By this point Lena was on her feet, pacing the room in anger whilst she lectured Kara. Kara, however, was still trying to get a word in edgeways. 

"If you'd just let me explain...please Lena." 

Lena stopped pacing, staring intently at the girl before throwing her hands up in the air and falling back on the sofa behind her. 

"The reason I didn't tell you, was because if you knew you'd send me to Mike. To my old apartment, back to my old life. And I don't think it ever occurred to you that I didn't want to go back to that. Not that I have you back in my life again, I didn't want to risk losing something so important. So I pretended I still couldn't remember, it's only been a week. It's not like I kept this from you for a month. Please Lena you've got to understand my reasons. Sure Mike is great and all...ok maybe not so great, but the reason I was with him in the first place is because...because I thought no one would ever love me the way you did. There I said it." 

Kara turned her back away from Lena and hid her burning cheeks into a pillow. The CEO slowly managed to coax the cushion away from Kara's grasp, revealing the guilty looking face. 

"Oh Kara, why didn't you just tell me in the first place. I would've understood." She placed a strand of hair, that had fallen past her eyes. back behind Kara's ear. 

"Do you know what I'm trying to say then?" 

Lena shook her head, still slightly confused about the whole situation. Kara's declaration had shocked her and she hadn't recovered from it yet. 

"I still love you Lena. I don't think I ever stopped. Even with Mike...there was always something missing, something that I assumed I would only find with you. So I settled. Afraid if I kept looking for the perfect love, the love I had with you, I would never find somebody. And Mike was...he was nice and he was there at the right time. He was convenient. Which is something I should probably not be saying about someone I've been with for 2 years."

Lena's eyes began to water as Kara talked, her heartfelt announcement being everything she ever wanted to hear. 

"So, what do you say Lena?" Kara looked longingly into her eyes "Will you take me back?" 

Lena thought deeply, every doubt resurfacing at that entire moment. She tried not to hesitate for too long, not wanting to allow Kara to start panicking. Which she knew she would. She thought for another second, the two answers swirling around in her mind. She was stuck, between the answer she knew she desperately wanted to say, and the answer she felt she had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh I'm so sorry. Didn't want to leave you guys in suspense, but I kinda had to. Don't worry though, the last chapter will be posted over the weekend (can't promise anything though as I have work both days)  
> ...saying that I'll probably end up writing it in my break ;) 
> 
> Thanks again guys! :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final Chapter!

A month had passed since Kara's question. The question that make her heart sink even further for every second it wasn't answered. But after those two words were released into the atmosphere, Kara felt herself break into a million pieces. 

"I can't."

Though she had originally expected it, nothing could prepare her for the heartbreak. Something she would feel well over a month after. Meaning that she was still in mounds of pain, replaying those words over and over in her head 24/7. Playing the scene like a movie, analysing what could've gone wrong.   
After Lena had admitted her true feelings, Kara didn't reply. She just tearfully nodded, grabbed her coat and made her way out of the apartment, not even hearing a plea for her to stay. She found herself at Alex's apartment, barely able to knock on the door. However Alex could hear her muffled cries, and as she opened the door, she embraced Kara before her knees collapsed from under her. The tears streaming down her face rose a lot of questions, but Alex knew it wasn't the time to ask them. Maggie shortly joined, fondly stroking Kara's hair like a mother would. After a few hours, when Kara had run out of tears, Alex asked the dreadful question.

"Kara sweetheart, what happened?" 

Kara sniffled and hugged herself tighter as she answered. 

"She-she doesn't want me. I asked her if-if she would t-take me back. But she said....she said n-no."

Maggie shared a worrying glance with Alex, her heart breaking at the sight of the younger girl. However Alex was full of rage, and ready to give Lena a piece of her mind. As she was about to leave, Maggie calmly reminded her that this wasn't the time, and right now Kara needed her. Alex agreed, although slightly reluctantly, and proceeded to make her way back over to Kara. Who was lying across the sofa. Kara had fallen asleep, still whimpering slightly after every breath, so Maggie carefully threw a blanket over her and tucked her in. 

Kara slept on their couch for about a week, not ready to go back to her own apartment for fear that she wouldn't see it as home anymore. Alex had temporarily let her move in, knowing that when Kara was feeling better she would do everything she could to help her get back on her feet. Maggie had taken a few trips to get Kara's things from Lena's apartment, both times the CEO was absent, but had left a key under the doormat for circumstances just like these.   
Though Maggie and Alex insisted it was no problem for Kara to stay with them, eventually she began to feel like burden. They agreed they would help her move back into her apartment. Moving back in was strange to Kara, she remembered every detail of what had happened there, she remembered how she used to feel about it. But that was something she didn't feel anymore, especially now remains of Mike could be spotted everywhere even after moving out a few weeks ago. Luckily, she hadn't seen him since and didn't plan on it. In fact, the only thing she could picture the entire time was how Lena would fit in there. And after another bout of tears and comforting hugs from Alex and Maggie, Kara eventually insisted she was fine. So the couple left her to it. 

 

And so, after a month of not seeing or hearing a single thing from the CEO (apart from a rather awkward encounter at Kara's work, within which Lena was having a meeting with Kara's boss), Kara felt more alone that ever. Going back to work helped slightly, her co-worker Winn was happy to see her back and their friendship rekindled once again. James the photographer had also been glad about her return, none of them really knowing the full detail of what went on. So Kara got back into the the swing of it all, glad she did (for at least a month) forget about the stress of being Cat Grant's boss. Though the woman had been quite lenient with her time off, given the circumstances, she certainly was making up for lost time.   
Alex made regular checks on Kara at her apartment, which the younger girl didn't mind, enjoying the company. Kara felt herself wallowing a lot of the time, especially at night when the only sound that graced her ears was the ticking of the wall clock. No gentle snoring broke the silence. 

So a month after Lena'a declaration, without so much as a conversation between the two in that time, it only seemed fitting that after a meeting with a certain CEO, Cat Grant insisted on Kara escorting Lena out of the building.   
Kara's eyes widened at the statement, flickering her gaze over to Lena who appeared equally shocked.

"There's no need Miss Grant, I am perfectly capable-"

"Don't be ridiculous Miss Luthor, I insist. Besides, Kara would be more than happy to do it, wouldn't you Kara?" Cat Grant used her piercing gaze, making Kara gulp before answering.

"Sure."

Cat smiled and indicated for Kara to show Lena out, who smiled (although it was practically a grimace) and opened the door for Lena. The two walked in silence to the elevator, tension increasing as it seemed to take forever for the doors to open. Kara snuck a glance at Lena, who was looking on ahead, not faltering in posture. As the doors opened, Kara indicated for Lena to go first, closely following and pressing the button for the bottom floor.   
As it was quite a distance from Cat Grant's office to the lowest floor, Lena and Kara would be stuck together for about 3 minutes. A long time if neither of the pair is talking. About a minute into the journey, the lift quickly shuddered to a halt, raising a questioning expression from Lena when the doors didn't open. Kara began frantically pressing the buttons in an attempt to get the lift going again, but she had no such luck.

"Great, just great." She mumbled under her breath, leaning back against the metal walls. "Typical."

Lena brought her phone out of her purse, cursing under her breath when she saw there was no signal. She leaned over and pressed the emergency button, hoping it would signal to someone that they were stuck.   
A minute went by with no action, and Kara and Lena were stuck in silence, until it became almost unbearable.

"You know you really didn't have to escort me down. I know my way out of the building." Lena's eyes flickered anywhere but on Kara. 

"Well it's no use saying that now is it? We're stuck." Kara huffed, crossing her arms and pouting in a child-like manner."

Lena chuckled quietly to herself, making Kara raise a questioning eyebrow. 

"Sorry it's just, you look like a child when you do that. It's...it's cute." 

Kara went to reply, but figured her words would come out jumbled and stuttered anyway. A blush rose to her cheeks, and Kara cursed the bright lighting. Silence graced over them once again, leaving Kara fiddling with her glasses and Lena biting her lip. 

"Lena look. I know things haven't exactly been easy between us. After everything that happened, it's not surprising. But I'm sorry that I just landed back in your life like that, I must've been quite a burden to you." Kara looked at her feet, her voice quiet but audible. 

"You've never been a burden Kara, never have been never will be. Especially to me. It wasn't your fault that you got into that accident, that maniac of a driver is to blame. Good thing he's behind bars." Lena snorted unamused. 

"Wait, he's in prison? I was wondering why I hadn't heard anything about it, even Alex wouldn't tell me what happened, not properly." Kara finally met Lena's gaze. 

"Yes well, my lawyers are the best, and I didn't want you to get stressed out with court cases and CCTV evidence. It was simpler for me to sort it all, and leave you to recover."

Kara felt her heart swell at the declaration, never even having a clue that had gone on. She could feel tears prick at her eyes as the memories swept through her once again, but blinked them away. 

"Thank you Lena, I had no idea. You didn't have to do that for me." 

"Yes I did. Because when you...care about someone like I care about you, you'd do anything just to make their life that little bit easier." Though her voice appeared cold, Kara knew better and could sense the emotion behind it. 

"I'm surprised you didn't use the past tense." Kara admitted. 

"Why would I? You don't just stop loving people Kara, no matter how much you want to." Lena's voice trailed off, almost as if she was afraid to say it. 

"You love me?" 

"Let's not do this, please?" 

Hearing the raw emotion in Lena's voice, Kara nodded gently, feeling guilty that she even asked it in the first place. She breathed out deeply, hoping it would release some tension in her body. 

"C-can I ask you something?" Kara felt her heart beat quicker as Lena took her time to answer. 

"Of course." 

Kara took a deep breath before speaking once again.

"Do you miss me?" 

Lena's eyes snapped over to Kara, and was quickly greeted with bright blue orbs. She could see them glistening, and instantly wanted to wipe away the tears.

"Like someone cut a hole in me."

Kara nodded and felt the tears began to trickle down her cheeks. Watching the girl she loved cry, Lena could feel her own eyes begin to water, and desperately wanted to embrace Kara. 

"No please, don't cry I'm sorry." Lena stepped over to Kara, gently stroking her thumbs on the girl's cheeks. 

The tears turned into a trickle rather than a steady stream, and Kara calmed down at Lena's gentle touch. Her gaze lifted, and in an instant she realised how close she was to Lena. She allowed her eyes to flicker down to Lena's lips, who did the same. However, the distance between them was suddenly widened as a voice spoke out. 

"Hey guys sorry for the technical difficulties, the lift should be running again in a few seconds, thank you for your patience." 

Lena quickly stepped back as the voice broke the atmosphere, she began to run her hands up and down her arms, suddenly feeling the cold. They both grabbed hold of the bar lining the elevator as it jerked back into motion. Lena let out a sigh of relief, which was reciprocated by Kara. A few seconds later the doors opened at the bottom floor, and Lena stepped out. She peered over her shoulder, wondering if Kara would follow her out. The girl just stood against the wall, giving the CEO a small wave from inside the elevator. Lena gave a small smile in return, her heart sinking slightly. But as she turned back around to walk out of the building, she felt a hand her arm pull her back. 

"Hey, sorry about what went on in there." It was Kara, making Lena feel a burst of emotion run through her at the girl's soft delicate voice. 

"Don't be. It was time we settled the air." Lena smiled once again, attempting to walk outside. 

Although she was stopped by Kara for a second time, who opened her mouth to say something but hesitated.

"What is it?" Lena questioned. 

"Will you go out with me? Just for a friendly dinner or something?" Kara blurted out, cursing inwardly when she heard how smooth it wasn't. 

"That would be lovely Kara. When are you thinking?" Lena tried not to grin too widely. 

"Tonight. At 7:00?" She bit her lip in worry, scared Lena would reject her proposition. 

"It's a date." Lena winked, making Kara melt. 

She finally released Lena's arm, watching the other woman exit the building. She stayed there, noticing how many times Lena looked back to smile at Kara. Once she had gone out of sight, Kara let the widest grin grace her lips, and she felt like her heart was going to burst. Turning back, she made her way up to her office, already wishing for time to hurry up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So sorry it took me a while to finish this story. I wasn't really feeling like myself recently, so I had no inspiration to write. But luckily I'm back in the swing of things now, thanks for staying with me!
> 
> *Also if anyone got the Carmilla reference I will love you forever ;)


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